Scream

Scream-1996

“Scream” makes fun of the entire horror genre. It has an abundance of horror movie cliches, most of which seem to have been done on purpose. Many of these cliches, along with the “rules” of surviving a horror movie are deliberately and effectively written in. However, as a result, the characters’ thoughts and behavior stick out as unrealistic. Continuing with my theme of how movies become “unreal,” i.e. lack believability, my biggest issues with “Scream” were the following:

THE BEGINNING
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First issue: Casey keeps answering the phone even though she knows it’s the same creep calling.

Why it’s ridiculous: She’s clearly terrified after he says that he “wants to know who he’s looking at.” She’s pretty quick to hang up after that. However, she still answers the next time he calls. I’m pretty sure most people would just turn off the phone at that point. Or use it to call the cops.

Second issue: Casey lies about not having a boyfriend.

Why it’s ridiculous: As it turns out, not only does she have a boyfriend, but he’s also a football player. Convenient right? It seems more likely that she’d be lying the second time when she says she does have a boyfriend.

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
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The issue: These teenagers are way too blasé about their classmates’ murders.

Why it’s ridiculous: Admittedly, I doubt most real teenagers would be very mature about this either. A lot of them would probably act pretty crass, and the movie kept it pretty realistic at first. However, the writers overdid it when the students went so far as to make all sorts of crude jokes about the murders. Sure, some of these characters are rude and immature, but they seem to have a basic understanding of what is and what isn’t socially acceptable behavior. Even the rudest, most tactless teenager would know when he’d gone too far.

THE NEWS REPORT ON THE MURDERS
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At first, it seemed like too much of coincidence that the news just happened to be talking about the murders (and Sidney’s mother) when Sidney switched on the TV. However, upon further consideration, I realized that a double homicide would completely dominate the news in a small town like the one portrayed. Here’s what really bugged me.

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The issue: Reporter Gale Weathers relates the two recent murders to the murder of Sidney’s mother a year ago.

Why it’s ridiculous: Why on earth would the reporter connect these two seemingly separate murders? Not only did they happen over a year apart, but the M.O.s are completely different. Even if these were the only two murders the town had ever seen, the murder of Sidney’s mother shouldn’t have been brought up.

THE FIRST ATTACK ON SIDNEY
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The issue: Sidney locks the door, barricades it using another door, and tries to call the police.

Why it’s ridiculous: First, how would one door hold the other closed, would both of them just get pushed in the same direction? Second, the lock on the door didn’t seem to deter him at all. If he can break through one locked door, would the second really pose a problem? Plus, Sidney wastes time trying to call police when she should be trying to get out of the house. For someone who talks about how dumb the women in horror movies are, Sidney isn’t acting particularly smart.

ACCUSING BILLY OF BEING THE KILLER
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The issue: Billy’s being at the house and having a cell phone automatically make him a suspect.

Why it’s ridiculous: Okay, so it turns out Billy actually is the killer, but this is what makes him suspicious? First, how could he get from the door to the window that quickly? He’d have to run outside and all the way around the house. It was probably his friend/accomplice inside the house unless he can secretly teleport. Plus, just having a cell phone doesn’t mean he’s the one that made the call to Sidney’s house, especially if owning a cell phone is common. If this was the only real evidence they had against Billy, the police wouldn’t legally be able to keep him.

THE POLICE’S TIMELY ARRIVAL
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The issue: The police show up maybe a minute after Sidney uses her computer to call.

Why it’s ridiculous: No matter how fast they are, the police cannot possibly get somewhere a minute after they are contacted. In addition to that, she never typed anything in response to the question asking about her emergency. She only dialed the number.

THE PRINCIPAL
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The issue: The principal waves scissors at a pair of students and calls them “heartless, desensitized, little shits.”

Why it’s ridiculous: A principal would definitely get fired for that.

THE SCENE IN THE VIDEO STORE
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The issue: Randy gets really worked up when telling Stu his theories about the murders.

Why it’s ridiculous: It just seems a little too dramatic for an interaction that happens in public. Randy would probably be smart enough to know that such an outburst would draw attention, and would try to at least keep his voice down a little. The fact that the person he was talking about was only a few feet away from him would have also made him more cautious.

THE COP’S REACTION TO UNDERAGE DRINKING
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The issue: Dewey only jokes about arresting his sister’s classmates for having alcohol. He doesn’t have any intention of doing anything about it.

Why it’s ridiculous: Maybe he’s trying to be the “cool big brother,” but even if he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, as a police officer, Dewey would still be required to do something about the underage drinking going on at the party.

STU’S SUDDEN CRAZINESS
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The issue: Stu is suddenly a lot crazier than he was earlier.

Why it’s ridiculous: Someone with his degree of psychosis wouldn’t be able to fool people into thinking he was sane for so long. It makes sense that Billy, who refers to himself as a psychopath, could probably hide his disorder, since psychopaths seem mostly normal. Most people who encounter one never even realize it. However, psychosis is a completely different disorder and isn’t hidden as easily. Admittedly, there were points in the movie when Stu’s behavior was kind of bizarre, but it seemed more like he was just an obnoxious teenage boy. Also, most psychotics (especially those that haven’t even been diagnosed) don’t realize there is anything wrong with them, when Stu seems fully aware that he’s nuts.

BILLY AND STU TAKING THEIR TIME TO KILL SIDNEY
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The issue: Billy and Stu spend all this time explaining their motive and their plan to Sidney.

Why it’s ridiculous: Okay, so they want her to know their motive, but they’d probably be in a little more of a hurry to kill her. After confessing their reasons for the murders, I doubt they would tell Sidney their entire plan. They certainly wouldn’t injure themselves before they killed their last two victims. It seems like the writers did that just to give Sidney time to escape.

THE LINE ABOUT THE SAFETY
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The issue: After knocking Gale out, Billy makes a sarcastic comment about how guns work better when the safety isn’t on. Later, when she shoots Billy, she taunts him saying that the safety is off this time.

Why it’s ridiculous: Gale was unconscious when Billy made that comment. She never would have heard it.

STU’S DEATH
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First issue: Stu doesn’t behave the way one would expect a dying man to act.

Why it’s ridiculous: Stu seems upset, but not nearly as upset as he would be if he were dying. The fact that he’s insane might cause him to react differently than a typical person would, but he doesn’t seem to be taking his death seriously at all. Instead, he simply whines like a child who feels he’s been treated unfairly. He’s upset, but it doesn’t seem serious at all. The comment about how mad his mom and dad are going to be was particularly stupid.

Second issue: Somehow, Stu manages to attack Sidney one last time while he’s bleeding to death.

Why it’s ridiculous: I also doubt he’d have the strength to tackle Sidney, considering that thirty seconds ago, he said he was too weak to stand.

GALE SHOOTING BILLY
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The issue: Gale wakes up and walks back into the room just in time to shoot Billy and stop him from killing Sidney.

Why it’s ridiculous: It’s just too convenient that she’d arrive at exactly the right time to save the day. A lot of movies and TV shows do this, and it’s just so unlikely that everything would time out that way.

John Tucker Must Die

As a high school senior, I really wanted to write about a movie in a high school setting. I’d planned to pick a recent one, but I realized that Hollywood doesn’t make these movies anymore. So, in order to find a movie to suit my purpose, I chose a teen movie that was popular when I was a little kid: “John Tucker Must Die.”

I love this movie. It has been one of my favorites since I was too young to understand it. I am not trying to tear it apart. I know that this isn’t a movie that’s supposed to be taken seriously. Since the whole premise is unrealistic, it makes sense that details and events throughout the film would be unrealistic too. However, there should be a limit to how much creative liberty writers and directors are allowed to take. Some details were just plain ridiculous and made no sense. On top of that, some of the characters’ behavior or reactions to situations contradict basic human psychology. Here are my main issues:

THE ENTIRE SCENE WHEN THE GIRLS DISCOVER JOHN IS CHEATING ON THEM
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This scene is all over the place, but two things stuck out the most.

First issue: A lot of details are off, like when the coach calls seven people for one team and only calls out the four lead characters for the other. Somehow, despite not being called, a few nameless girls know to join this team so Carrie can have someone to whisper to.

Why it’s ridiculous: It just takes away from the realism. It would have taken the writers two minutes to come up with three other names, and it would have taken the coach ten seconds to call them out. They took the time to make up seven names for the other team. What are three more?

Second issue: Everyone’s (lack of) reaction when Heather spikes the ball at Carrie’s head.

Why it’s ridiculous: Nobody would have believed the “it slipped” excuse. There’s really no accidental way to spike a ball directly at someone’s head, and Heather wasn’t even trying to be discreet. People must have seen her. In a real high school, she probably would have been sent to the principal’s office before she even got a chance to throw the ball a second time.

THE FIRST MEETING AT KATE’S HOUSE
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The issue: Okay, so all three of these girls get the idea to go to Kate’s house and start plotting revenge on the exact same night?

Why it’s ridiculous: Putting the overly-convenient timing aside, there’s also the fact that none of them ever heard Kate’s name. They didn’t know who she was, let alone where she lived.

ESTROGEN PILLS
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The issue: After Heather slips John estrogen pills, he starts acting like a stereotypical girl.

Why it’s ridiculous: For one thing, there is no way ANY pill works that quickly. John wouldn’t be showing any effects until way later. Second, assuming that giving a guy female hormones might make him slightly more feminine (I have no clue how this actually works), it doesn’t actually make him think like a woman. Maybe he’d get emotional, but I highly doubt that he would ask if his shorts made his thighs look fat.

KATE’S SUDDEN POPULARITY
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The issue: On her date with John, Kate is suddenly extremely popular, and practically everyone knows who she is.

Why it’s ridiculous: They go to public school with possibly thousands of other students. There is no possible way that everybody would know one person. As a private school student, I might be totally wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure that at a school that big, that type of popularity isn’t really possible.

THE THONG
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Surprisingly, John’s wearing the thong and scaling the building isn’t the most unrealistic part of this sequence. Kate’s challenging his masculinity (calling him inexperienced) combined with the promise of sex might actually be enough to get a normal teenage boy to scale a building in women’s lingerie. What struck me the most are the following:

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First issue: John barely gets in any trouble after being found in a thong in a teacher’s bed.

Why it’s ridiculous: Okay, so he gets dragged out of the room by the ear, and the coach chews him out, but that’s pretty much it. I’m pretty sure that schools don’t view a scolding and public humiliation as sufficient enough punishment for such an offense. In reality, he would have gotten expelled.

Second issue: Somebody has apparently posted pictures of a half-naked John all over the school.

Why it’s ridiculous: Once again, what school would ever allow this?

Thongs definitely don't stick out this much.

Thongs definitely don’t stick out this much.

Third issue: After John does some fancy basketball trick (that a high schooler probably wouldn’t have been able to do in the first place), the guys that were previously harassing John decide to pick up the thong trend.

Why it’s ridiculous: I’ll admit that his teammates might stop making fun of him after he shows off enough and “proves himself.” But I don’t think they would suddenly want to start wearing women’s undergarments to emulate him. John’s making the basket has a lot more to do with his athletic ability than what type of underwear he has on. These guys must know that putting on thongs is not going to suddenly make them great or improve their technique. They either have the ability or they don’t. And considering the fact that they all made the team at a giant high school, I’m assuming they do.

GENERAL HIGH SCHOOL MALICE
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The issue: Throughout the film, usually whenever the girls manage to publicly humiliate John, high school students are openly malicious.

Why it’s ridiculous: Teenagers definitely say a lot of mean things, but they usually do so behind each others’ backs (especially girls). Unless they are truly furious at someone, high schoolers tend to avoid direct confrontation. Any face-to-face confrontation is usually more passive-aggressive.

WHEN KATE DOESN’T WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE PLANJohn-Tucker-Must-Die-3-sophia-bush-6218872-832-464

First Issue: When Kate says she no longer wants to break John’s heart, her friends accuse her of being in love with him.

Why it’s ridiculous: Teenagers in movies use the word “love” way too lightly. Why would her feeling guilty equate to her being in love with him? All it means is that, in getting to know him as a person, it’s become harder to hurt him. Plus, now that he’s beginning to change his behavior, she might be afraid that breaking his heart will cause him to revert to his old ways.

Second issue: Beth, Heather, and Carrie argue over who John should be with.

Why it’s ridiculous: So they’re furious at Kate because they think she has feelings for him, but it’s okay for them to suddenly all want him again? Obviously, none of these girls are over this guy; I get that. Kate’s right when she says that they’ve made their lives all about him. But the change from “I hate him” to “he’s mine” happened way too quickly.

THE END
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The issue: John displays his honesty by introducing his two girlfriends to each other.

Why it’s ridiculous: I get that this is to show that he’s changed (sort of). He’s no longer a liar, but he’s still a player. I honestly like that the movie doesn’t end with him embracing monogamy and turning into someone that he’s not. I really do. But even if he had open relationships in which girls knew he was seeing other people, I doubt he would be dumb enough to introduce his two girlfriends. That’s not honesty; that’s stupidity.